


It's Basically Oatmeal

by writingandchocolatemilk



Series: DenNor Oneshots [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anko Family - Freeform, Birthday, Brotherly Love, Gen, Human, M/M, birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-17
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-15 14:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7225285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingandchocolatemilk/pseuds/writingandchocolatemilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"<em>Happy birthday</em>!"</p><p>A rock fell on Emil.</p><p>"I'm dying," Emil croaked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Basically Oatmeal

**Author's Note:**

> **Happy birthday, Iceland.**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Abel is Denmark.**

It was four in the morning—way too fucking early for Emil to be up. Every fiber of his tired, little being wanted to crawl back into bed and ignore the rest of the world for the day.

Of course, that's how Emil usually felt. But he especially felt that this today. He should have bought the Taser.

It was still dark at this terrible time of day. He squinted as he picked his way through the room, toeing over mounds of clothing. He hit the door sooner than he would have thought, and he knee knocked against the wood.

He froze.

He listened.

He waited.

For three long minutes, every cell in his body was alert for the sound of footsteps.

But—so far, so good. Emil jiggled the handle, eased the door open.

The hallway was darker than his room. He squinted, biding his time. He'd rather spend time waiting for his eyes to adjust than to trip over something and wake the whole house. So, Emil counted his breaths.

Out of the gloom, a lumpy shape.

_What the fuck?_

Emil squinted harder.

It looked like a large worm, leaning against the far wall. It moved, and Emil almost threw himself backwards into his room.

"What," the shape asked, "do you want for your birthday breakfast?"

Emil's tired, little heart deflated. "Nothing."

A phone illuminated Lukas' face in the darkness. "You're up awfully early, birthday boy."

Emil should have known it was futile. "Stop calling me that."

"I can only call you that once a year, birthday boy." Lukas wiggled his sleeping bag closer. "What do you want for your breakfast, birthday boy? I bought stuff to make hafragrautur. Do you want some, birthday boy?"

Emil did want some. "No."

"I bought raisins."

Emil hunched his shoulders. "I'm going back to sleep."

"I'll wake you up at a reasonable hour, birthday boy."

Emil curled back into bed and glowered at the far wall. This was bullshit. Who the fuck sleeps in the  _hallway_? Emil hadn't even seen any pillows. Who sleeps in the hallway without any  _pillows_? Maybe Lukas just didn't sleep.

Emil loved sleep.

This was just another piece of evidence that Emil was adopted.

" _Happy birthday_!"

A rock fell on Emil.

"I'm dying," Emil croaked.

The rock started choking him. "Sixteen years old, dude! We can get you a car! Wouldn't that be awesome?! A car! A  _Mustang_ car! Lukas said you were trying to escape this morning, so I couldn't wish you happy birthday."

"Release me," Emil said.

Abel grinned and held Emil at arm's length. He shook him slightly. "We get cake."

"I hate cake." Emil loved cake.

Abel deflated. "You love cake, don't you?"

Emil loved causing pain to the ones he loved. "No."

Abel found more helium. "Lukas made hafragrautur!  _And_  he bought raisins!"

"Lame."

Abel hauled him out of bed. If Emil had been a stupid  _jock_ , he might have been able to fight back. As it was, Emil valued brains over brawns, so Abel held onto his hand and dragged him over the hardwood floor.

Emil  _seethed_  over socks and kinetic friction.

The kitchen smelled wonderful. Lukas watched the crust form on the hafragrautur, cinnamon and butter and  _raisins_  at his side. Abel released him and sat at the table, watching Lukas like some sort of large, blond dog.

For a second, a small, tiny part of Emil—a part Emil wanted to gag and throw in the basement—wished his parents were here.

And then Lukas turned around with two bowls of hafragrautur and Emil felt so overwhelming grateful for his brother, even for Abel, for the two of them being there and making him breakfast.

Lukas sat at the table and gave the second bowl to Abel.

Emil blinked. "Don't I get a bowl?"

Lukas looked slowly at him. "You didn't want any."

Warm feeling gone. Emil sat at the far end of the table and slumped down in his seat, arms crossed. He should have just stayed in bed. This was stupid. Breakfast was stupid.

"You can grab a bowl," Abel said, pointing with his spoon.

"I'm not hungry."

Lukas glanced at him. "Don't be spiteful, birthday boy."

"I'm not spiteful," Emil spat.

"Look, everyone at this table knows you like hafragrautur, just get a bowl, birthday boy."

"I hate you."

Lukas nodded. "Are you really going to make me make Abel get you a bowl, birthday boy?"

Emil opened his mouth, but Lukas was already turning to Abel.

"Get the birthday boy a bowl."

"Why me?"

"Because I told you to."

"He's your brother."

"Yes, but I'm your roommate, and he's my brother, so by transitive properties, he's your brother, and you should get him a bowl of hafragrautur."

Abel frowned. "Roommates?"

Emil chimed in: "I hear you guys banging all the time."

Lukas' tone was even. "Roommates."

Emil rolled his eyes. "Roommates who share a bed?"

"Poor roommates."

Abel looked confused. "What?"

Emil stood. "I'll get my own fucking bowl."

The front door jiggled. Emil's head snapped around. Lukas met his eyes evenly and took a bite of hafragrautur. Abel tried to follow his lead, but he took a bite and grinned.

Around his food: "We invited Tino and Berwald."

Lukas kicked Abel underneath the table.

"Well, we did!"

Emil groaned. "I told you not to tell them it was my birthday."

Lukas blinked. "They're your uncles."

" _So_?" Emil snapped.

"They know when your birthday is."

Berwald came through the doorway carrying two armfuls of gifts. He walked up to Emil and stared down at him. Emil stared back, pulled the hafragrautur a little closer to him. Berwald nodded, once, and placed all the gifts at Emil's feet.

Tino was dancing back and forth on his feet. He was fighting valiantly against the grin on his face. "Emil!" he said loudly.

"Tino," Emil said back.

Tino seemed lost beyond that. "How… How has your morning been?"

The poor man seemed close to bursting. Emil sighed, and placed the hafragrautur on the counter.

"You can wish me happy birthday, if you really need to."

Tino let out a short laugh and hugged Emil. "Happy sixteenth birthday, Emil!"

Berwald suddenly had a cake in his hands. "We got a cake."

"It's seven in the morning," Abel objected loudly. "Emil needs a well-balanced breakfast as a growing boy."

Emil rolled his eyes. "I've seen you eat a bag of Doritos for breakfast."

"Yes, well," Abel flexed his arms. "I'm grown." He grinned.

Berwald was holding a birdcage. "We got you a bird."

Emil couldn't stop the smile to his face. "Really?"

Lukas stood. "Did you also get him a Mustang? We said no pets."

Tino nodded. "Really!"

Berwald looked from Emil to Lukas. "Does he want a Mustang?"

Lukas did get a scooter, which was pretty close.


End file.
